Fearlessly And Forever
by justlikeaklainebow
Summary: Kurt Hummel lives in New York with his boyfriend Dean since a few years back. What Dean doesn't know is that Kurt meets his high school sweetheart Blaine when Dean's not home. Blaine lives in New York where he works as an english teacher. The big question is; how long will Blaine stay being put as second choice?
1. Chaper 1

_There's a hunger it's slowly growing_

_Chasing shadows but never knowing_

_If all that I have done_

_Is keeping me from you_

_Than can the arms of mercy bring the rescue_

_To return to you_

Kurt never thought he would become a cheater. That's just not who he is, he doesn't cheat. But still, he is lying in the arms of a man who is not his boyfriend.

He didn't mean to sleep with another man, it just kind of happened. He was drunk and then... well, you can fill in the dots, can you? The first time was an accident, and he agreed with the man he slept with that it wouldn't happen again. Kurt promised himself that he would never cheat again. But doing it once doesn't count, right? Well, it still happened again, and again... What started like a one night stand, ended up with being something that happened every other month. He is ashamed of what he does and he do feel guilty but, he never once regretted it. After all, he had done it with the same man every time, and it only gets better.

"What are you thinking about?"

Kurt snatches out of his thoughts and looks down at the man who is lying protectively on his bare chest.

"Huh?" Kurt says

"You're so quiet. What are you thinking about?" the man responds and starts playing with the blanket that is spread over their naked bodies.

"Oh, nothing. Just stuff, and you" Kurt smiles at the man and gets a bright smile back.

"And me.." the man whispers and laughs happily.

"You're such a dork" Kurt laughs and kiss the man on the top of his head.

Suddenly the man's mood change and he moves away from Kurt into a sitting position. Kurt knows what's about to happen, it always happens, and he knows that there is no way out of it than to talk and listen. He prepares for what's about to happen by remembering all of the arguments he always use and are about to use very soon.

"You thought about _him_, didn't you?" the man says. It's anger in his voice but also sadness, guilt and pain.

"Blaine.."

"How can you still be with him Kurt? How can you still be with _Dean_? He is a jerk to you and there is a reason why you're here with me and not with your _boyfriend_." Kurt almost starts laughing because he loves how Blaine always uses the word boyfriend like it's something bad and disgusting. Except from when he uses the word in sentences where it's about Blaine _being_ Kurt's boyfriend. "He is never at home to be with you, he never brings you flowers like I do-"

"You have to stop doing that by the way, the staff at work are starting to suspect something"

"Kurt, do I mean anything to you? Or am I just some toy that you are using? Because I don't want to be the toy Kurt, I want to be the boyfriend, the man that can give you flowers at work without scaring you. I wan't to be that guy but you won't let me"

"You know that you mean everything to me Blaine. I tell you that all the time" Talking to Blaine's back doesn't seem to work, so Kurt moves so that he sits in front of the dark haired boy instead.

"Blaine" Kurt takes his hands in his "I want you to be my boyfriend, but it's not that easy. I really do like Dean and he's not a jerk like you say, he is actually really nice-" Blaine looks the other direction, trying to hide the tears that are dangerously close to fall.

"Blaine.." Kurt says "Every time you walk into the room it feels like I'm in heaven. It feels like everything is going to be fine and all I want in that moment is you" Blaine still refuses to look at the boy and Kurt is starting to get frustrated. "Damn it Blaine, I _still_ get butterflies in my stomach when you smile at me! I _still_, after all of these years, want you so bad I can hardly breath. You mean so much to me-" finally a small smile appears at the dark haired boy's face, so small it could easily go missed. "-but you have to understand that I like Dean too. We have an apartment together, we have a _life_ together. I can't just walk away from him. You know I can't"

The talk goes on and on about how great Dean is and how much Kurt enjoys being with Blaine. He has explained this too many times to be able to count, and it is always the same. It always ends the same, Blaine quickly getting dressed and asking Kurt to leave. Kurt leaving the boy he loves too much to tell him, behind. With tear filled eyes he walks down the streets, thinking about whether he is right or wrong. It really starts to get tiring.

This was one of these days, one of the days when the shame was burning like an open fire in Kurt's chest. It's always worst in the mornings, when Dean has his arms wrapped around Kurt and all he can feel is the bare skin of his boyfriend's chest. That's when all Kurt can think about is what if it was Blaine instead. How much happier he would be, how much he rather want Blaine spooning him, Blaine's breath slowly hitting his neck in small and pleasant puffs. That's when Kurt hates himself the most. But today, the shame is even bigger than those mornings. Dean had been his normal happy-self. He had kissed Kurt good-bye when he left for work. Working as a lawyer means early mornings and late nights but Kurt doesn't care anymore. He likes being alone, which mostly means having Blaine over if he is free, or crying alone on the floor. Sometimes he calls Rachel for help, but she always says the same thing,

"Kurt, you can't do this anymore. You are not only hurting Blaine, you are actually hurting Dean and mostly yourself. You have to pick one!"

Picking one is not something Kurt is ready for yet. He doesn't want to pick one, he wants them both. If he had to pick one it would be easy, even though he's trying to convince himself that that's not the case. Of course he would pic Blaine, but admitting that to himself scares him every time. Why does he stay with Dean when it's obvious it's not him he wants?

Their story is simple. Kurt went to McKinley Hight School. He was bullied, brutally. He loved Glee club and every member in it and they loved him, but no one was there for him when he truly needed them. It has always scared Kurt. Rachel and Kurt are close friends, she is actually one of his best friends except for Blaine. But she never was there for him when he needed her, not like Blaine. Finn was actually the only one in school that helped him, supported him and fought for him during this time. After he'd passed away a couple of years ago Kurt never truly recovered. Finn was Kurt's bodyguard, brother and safety, without him everything turned so gray... so colorless. No one really recovered after his death. During Kurt's second year in high school he changed to Dalton Academy and found Blaine, the boy that later turned out to be his boyfriend for many years. After moving to New York and living there for about two years something complicated happened. They had just been engaged for about 3 years when Blaine got the call.

" I will come as fast as possible- yeah I know but- I can't leave- Please mum I can't- okay, okay I will. Yes- Okay bye"

"What was that?" Kurt says with concern.

"I- uhm, it was mum"

"Yeah, so I heard. What's wrong?"

Blaine inhales deeply and takes a steady hold on the kitchen counter to keep standing up.

"My dad he- he's not fine. He- He won't make it"

And with those words their relationship ended. Blaine had to go back to Ohio and what was supposed to only be a couple of months ended with years. They couldn't take it anymore and they broke up. A couple of months after their break-up Kurt met Dean, a hot single _gay_ lawyer that he met on a pub one of these days he missed Blaine so much it hurt. They fooled around in the beginning, but after only a couple of dates they had already moved in together, too fast for Burt's taste.. Anyhow Blaine moved back to New York and they started to hang out again, even though their feelings obviously are still there, they pretend there's nothing but friendship between them, and that's where they are now.

Anyhow, Kurt gets up from bed and starts making breakfast. Having his boyfriend's arms wrapped around him makes him feel trapped, like he's in some cage with no way out. Kurt has never been claustrophobic, but in Dean's arms, he can easily feel it that way... When Kurt puts on his black boxers is Dean still asleep, _"thank god"_ Kurt thinks and tip toes out of the room.

He starts making breakfast, flips one of the pancakes and then another. Suddenly his phone starts buzzing. He had gotten a text message from Blaine which is pretty odd because working as a english teacher means early mornings and classes all day. Does he have a break 9 o'clock in the morning? Kurt opens the text message;

_"Can I come over tonight? We need to talk" _Kurt cover his eyes with his hands.

"Why does he always have to talk?" he whisper to himself, not bothering to flip the almost burned pancake. Before Kurt gets the chance to respond to the message, Dean walks into the room, his hair in a wild blonde mess, his tired blue eyes almost not showing behind his half-closed eyelids.

"Hi babe" he says and kisses Kurt quickly and muttered "morning breath" and walks slowly to the fridge to pour a glass of milk to himself. "Are the pancakes supposed to be burned or something?" he says after a while when Kurt still hasn't moved an inch.

"Wha- What?"

"The pancakes...?" Kurt looks at Dean weirdly. "They're burned.. Are they supposed to be burned?"

_"Oh" _Kurt says and takes the pancakes off the stove. _"Shit"_

"Hey babe, what's going on?"

"Uhm, nothing.. I was just- I have a lot on my mind.."

"Uh-uh..." Dean watches Kurt closely. "Are you sure that you're okay? I mean, you look terrified"

"I'm fine.." Kurt says shortly and trows the burned pancake in the trash. "You want syrup?"

"Yeah... Well I actually gotta go to work. See you tonight?" Dean stands up and walks into their bedroom. Kurt can hear him getting dressed and he takes a deep breath

"Yeah of course. Are you going to be home by 9?" Dean comes into the kitchen, full dressed, a black suit matched with a navyblue shirt and a dark gray tie.

"I hope so, I'm not sure though. Mr. Clarkson wanted me to start working on a case with him, you know how he is. Always wants the best" Dean says laughing and steps closer to his boyfriend. He looks at him with concern in his eyes and says: "You know you can tell me anything right?" Kurt looks down on the floor. "I love you so much Kurt, and I hope whatever is going on with you will pass." Dean kiss Kurt lightly on his lips and starts walking out of the room.

"See you tonight!" He says leaving Kurt in a pile of guilt and pain.

_For you Only _- Trading Yesterday


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everybody! So I've gotten great responses from a lot of you and I already have 7 favs and 10 follows! Wow! Maybe that isn't a lot, but for me, sh*t, never thought this would happen! So thank you! And keep sending me reviews, I've gotten two so far and YAY! THANK YOU!**

**So, now I know how to edit and stuff so my first chapter was a bit hard to read, I know. Sorry about that. I will try to fix it as soon as I understand how! Hehe... **

**I come from Sweden which means that I originally don't speak english. Hopefully my english writing skills are good enough for you to read. If you do think that my grammar or spelling is bad, please tell me and I'm going to start looking for a beta as soon as I can!**

**Background information about the story: Most of it the first chapter already told you, but some things you don't know yet. Kurt has his own store where he sells his own designed clothes, so yes, he is a designer. Blaine and Kurt are around 23 and 24 years old. Oh and Dean has blonde hair and blue eyes. Kind of a "typical swede haha! If you have any questions or suggestions, just tell me! Either on here, my instagram KlaineIG, my twitter (also KlaineIG), my tumblr Lovewillalwaysbelove (not on there much tho) or my kik Pjutt.**

**I guess I should write something like "all rights on Fox and Ryan Murphy"? Well, you already knew that, Dean is mine tho! And a couple of characters you'll meet in this chapter! Have a great reading! Oh and the song I put in the beginning of all chapters, you can find the name in the end of the chapter!**

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><p><em>I don't want hold you if you want to go, <em>

_I'm not going to make you feel love if you don't _

_I would rather learn what it feels like to burn _

_than feel nothing at all _

* * *

><p><em>"I don't know how to say this..." Kurt looks up from the diner menu, concern in his eyes.<em>

_"What's wrong baby?" he says and puts the menu down on the table._

_"I just-" Blaine looks up from his glass filled with water and directly into Kurt's eyes. "I just love you so damn much sometimes that I can hardly stand it. I know that we're young and dumb and stupid and all of those words that Burt uses when he talks about us, but you know what? I don't care. I love you and I want you, forever. I want to wake up beside you everyday, look at you when you sleep even how creepy that sounds. I know I already do that, but I wanna do that until we're 87, sitting on our front porch listening to the birds singing, with our grandchildren running around. I wanna be yours forever, and I want you to be mine." Blaine looks down at their linked hands "I had planned this to be something completely different, a fancy restaurant with flowers and Champaign with the ring lying in the bottom of the glass and I would stand on one knee and I would-"_

_"No, just no Blaine-" Kurt suddenly stands up from his chair " I had planned a perfect proposal and now you've ruined it. Couldn't you just let me be the romantic one? Just for once?" Kurt looks like he's close to tears. "I had planned to propose to you Blaine, I had planned to propose to you with flowers, a fancy restaurant and a romantic speech and you would cry, and I would cry. And the ring would lie in a small box with a bowtie on and-"_

_"Yes"_

_"Yes what?"_

_"I'll marry you."_

* * *

><p>Blaine wakes up with a jolt. The memory burning inside of his head like an open fire. His bedspread is tangled around his body like a sleeping bag. <em>"Why do I have to remember that, why?" <em>He sits up in the bed and puts his head in his hands. He sits like that, trying to get the memory out of his head until the alarm goes off and he almost falls out of bed.

"Well good morning Blaine" he says while he turns the alarm off. "_No new text messages", _the display on his Blackberry sighs and gets up from bed, "nothing's changed...". He gets dressed quickly, already a little late for work and eats a quick breakfast.

* * *

><p>His red T-shirt is soaked with sweat when Blaine arrives to the small school in New York city. Callwest Preschool is a tiny building with only about 400 students and 7 teachers. Blaine is the only English teacher at the school which means that he has a couple of classes each day. The building is old built from bricks and looks really boring if you think about it. From outside, the school almost looks like a prison, but on the inside you get a completely different feeling. The principal has done all in her power to make the inside feel welcoming and warm, and she has really succeeded. The walls are covered with drawings the children have made, most of them pictures Blaine with various children. Blaine smiles to himself. The children really does like him, and he likes them. He really loves his job, not only because he can teach, he can also spend time with kids which he loves.<p>

Blaine easies the black bowtie around his neck and walks into the staffroom. Mrs Acker is reading today's newspaper and looks up when she hears Blaine approach the room.

"Hi Blaine! You've been running I can tell" She gives him a half smile and looks down on the newspaper again.

"Hi mrs Acker. I missed the bus..._again_" he sits down on the chair right in front of her with a groan. "I don't understand how I seem to always oversleep" Mrs Acker starts laughing and says without looking up from the news paper:

"If you stopped pinning over that boy you always talk about maybe you would get up in the mornings" Blaine gives out a puff and she looks up, blinking with one eye. "Am I right or am I right?" she says.

"Okay, I gotta go now" Blaine mutters and starts walking towards the door.

"Hey! I brought you coffee!" Mrs Acker says and holds a mug of coffee towards Blaine. "In case you didn't have time to make some this morning"

"Thanks" Blaine says with gratitude. He takes the coffee and waves to her and then walks to his first class

* * *

><p>When he arrives, he's all alone. There are ten minutes until the class starts so Blaine takes off his jacket and puts his brown briefcase on the floor beside the teacher's chair. The memory is still burning inside of his head and he can't seem to get it out of his head.<p>

_"Yes"_

_"Yes what?"_

_"I'll marry you"_

He shakes his head as to get the memory out, but it's still there. What pains him so much about this memory is that they were so happy back then. They were so young and so in love, not that _that _has changed... What Blaine hates most about the whole situation is not that Kurt can't be with Blaine, that he is keeping Blaine a secret. No, it's the memories of how perfect everything was and how perfect their life still can be. But Kurt is too stubborn to do anything about it...

Blaine opens his briefcase and takes out a couple of papers. The children should arrive any minute now. He reeds them trough to make sure that he has control of what's supposed to happen during the lesson. He's almost done when he hears the familiar clapper from the children's shoes and looks up.

"Hi mr. Anderson!" Sandra calls out and gives Blaine a bright smile.

"Good morning Sandra! Was mr. Thomson's class fun today?"

"No it sucked" Ed said. A small boy with a huge personality that always makes sure to be heard. Ed is the "popular" kid that every kid looks up to, mostly because he's brave enough to say things like that. All of the children takes their places except for Nathalie that runs up to Blaine and hugs his legs instead. She really is a small girl.

"Well hello there Nathie, everything okay?" He asks and pats her head

"Yes mr. Anderson. I brought you a flower, I found it outside on the playground" She says and gives him the flower and then runs off towards her seat and sits down, eager to learn.

"Why thank you! It's-" _really ugly and smells really bad "_-beautiful! I'll put it right here, on my desk!" he says and puts it firmly down beside his computer and papers. He receives a almost toothless smile from the girl. She really is cute.

"Today's class we are going to start reading a book called _Little Mermaid_. I'm sure you've heard of it?" He holds up a book with a mermaid with red hair and a blue and yellow fish as the cover. The children screams is delight, expect for Ed but Blaine can see that even Ed has a hard time covering his smile. "Well we can start now, shall we? Those who wants help with reading can just tell me and I'll help you. Take your books!" The children screams and runs toward his desk to get to the books. Blaine laughs and takes a book himself.

After about 10 minutes his phone starts buzzing. All of the children says "Shhh mr. Anderson, we're trying to read!" which Nathalie and some other girls giggles. Blaine laughs and leaves the room, opening the text message.

_"Dean is working late, wanna come over? xx -Kurt" _Blaine locks his phone and gives out a loud sigh, the memories all coming back again.

_"Yes"_

_"Yes what?"_

_"I'll marry you"_

He collapses into the floor, his head in his hands and tries to breath through the pain that's burning inside of him. The phone is burning inside of his pocket, urges him to answer. But what should he answer? _"I'll be there"_ as he always does? Or should he for once just let Kurt hanging, let Kurt feel the pain that Blaine always feels? Well, Blaine knows that Kurt feels bad about it. Blaine knows that Kurt is suffering just as much as he does, of course he knows. They've known each other long enough, and Blaine knows his soulmate inside out which even pains him even more. His _soulmate_, _the love of his life_. Of course he feels the pain Kurt feels, of course they share each others suffering. But he just wants to feel sorry for himself, just once.

_"Put that box over there. No, not there, THERE!" Kurt screams when Blaine carries the last box of his and Kurt's stuff into their new apartment._

_"Yeah it's easy for me to know what you mean when you have your back against me" Blaine mutters and puts the box down._

_"Yeah, well bedroom stuff is supposed to be in the bedroom and not in the living room. Even a baby would get that."_

_"Well we only have one room Kurt so- OH!" Blaine screams and holds his hands to his back_

_"What happened? Blaine, OH GOD WHAT HAPPENED?" Kurt says running to his boyfriend's side and helps him to stand_

_"My- My back, oh god" he says when his back gives away a rather loud crack_

_"We have to take you to the hospital now" Kurt says and gets his phone out of his pocket_

_"No baby, I'm fine- OH!"_

_"Yeah, hospital, now."_

They had spend that whole night in the hospital, Kurt always by his boyfriend's side, making sure to yell at the doctors for not being good enough because his _"-boyfriend is NOT supposed to be in pain! You hear that? My boyfriend is in pain and you are NOT doing your job correctly-" _Kurt had worried about Blaine all night and was still worried three weeks after Blaine's recovery, while Blaine worried about Kurt because _"-this wasn't supposed to happen. You don't have to be here honey, you weren't supposed to spend your first day of our new apartment in a hospital and you were so excited to make it look homely-" _and he had never once, felt sorry for himself. It was the time to feel that now.

"Mr. Anderson, are you okay?"

"Wh- What?" Blaine looks up to see Nathie standing in the doorway looking concerned

"Ed and Ruben started to fight over Amy and it's hard to read. Can you come in now?"

"Yeah, yeah of course" he says and stands up. When he gets into the classroom it's all chaos. The two boys are wrestling on the floor while Amy is standing in a corner crying. Everyone else is standing in a circle around Ruben and Ed, cheering.

"Okay walk away. Boys, walk away NOW" The boys stops immediately when they hear Blaine. "I don't care who's fault it is or why you did it. Just go back to the book. And you two,-" he says and points at the two boys, "-will I have a talk with later."

"Yes mr. Anderson" they say and goes back to their seats and Blaine takes his seat behind his desk.

"Mr. Anderson?" a cute, chubby girl with black hair says.

"Yes Elsa, what is it?" he asks and looks up from his desk.

"Who texted you?" she says and the whole class starts to giggle

"Was it your _boyfriend?_" Ruben asks and makes a high five with Ed. _Apparently they're already back to being friends, _Blaine thinks.

"He's not my boyfriend" he says tiredly, knowing that the normal discussion will come up, like every other lesson.

"But you wish he was, right?"

"I-" Blaine looks at all of the 17 faces smiling at him and decides to be honest. "Yes, I do"

"Then why aren't you?" a small girl named Tina says, actually not so different from Tina Cohen-Chang.

"Because he has already a boyfriend. And we were together before, but we broke up" Blaine says sadly

"But you like him?"

"I like him very _very_ much"

"Awwwwwe" the whole class says in union

"What did he say, what did he say?" Patrick says jumping in his seat

"He wants to meet me tonight, but I'm not sure what to answer him" Blaine says and looks down in his lap

"What do you want to answer him?" a quiet and shy girl named Lisa says and looks almost scared of Blaine's reaction. He looks at her and gives her a small smile saying:

"I don't know"

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><p>Later that day Blaine pulls his phone out of his pocket and reads the message again.<p>

_"Dean is working late, wanna come over? xx -Kurt"_ And he finally decides what to answer him. He types quickly and sends it right away, too fast to be able to regret. And the lump in his throat finally eases a bit.

_"I'll be there"_

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><p><em>One Grain Of Sand<em> - Ron Pope


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter was really short, I'm so sorry about that! I hope you like it anyways and please tell me what you think! Either you leave me a review or you can contact me on Kik (Pjutt) or my Instagram KlaineIG.**

**So far I've gotten 4 reviews, 31 follows and 12 favs! This is amazing guys! Wow that means so freaking much! Thank you thank you thank you!**

**Enjoy, this chapter**

**Love Erika**

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><p><em>I don't want to play this game no more<em>

_I don't wanna play it_

_I don't want to stay 'round here no more_

_I don't wanna stay here_

* * *

><p>Standing outside Kurt's door has never made Blaine nervous before. Except the time when Blaine had moved back to New York and was going to surprise Kurt for being back. He hand't called or texted before he got there, so he didn't know how Kurt would take it. Would he be happy? Would he cry? Hit him? Wrap him in his arms?" Even though Blaine had known the man his whole life, he had no idea ho the reaction would be.<p>

_The nock hears clearly, almost to high in the corridor. _

_"Hi, how are you?!" Blaine gives the door a huge fake smile and then shakes his head. "No no no.. Shit what am I supposed to say?" Blaine turns around with the door to his back. "Hi Kurt! Remember me? Of course he does.. Uhm.. Hi Kurt! I'm back! Can I come in? No no Blaine you're no pedophile.. Uhm hi-" The door behind him opens and he turns around. There in the doorway Kurt is standing. His hair is perfectly styled and his eyes are the same color as Blaine remembers them. Blue with a bit green when they're teary. But wait a sec. Why are they teary?_

_"BLAINE!" Kurt falls into Blaine's arms, hugs him tightly and drags in his smell in his nosetrils. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you in Ohio? Have you moved here? Why didn't you call? Oh Blaine!"_

_"Hey hey, calm down. Calm down. I'm here now. Baby, I'm here now..." Kurt's body stiffens and he moves away from Blaine._

_"Blaine... Don't... That time is pass now-"_

_"What time? Me calling you baby? I've always done that, why... Oh" Behind Kurt a tall man approaches. He has blonde hair and blue eyes, the exact opposite of Blaine. The man puts his hand on Kurt's shoulder and says with almost threat in his voice;_

_"Who's this Kurt?" Kurt shies from the man and Blaine takes a step back, this can only be Kurt's boyfriend. Kurt looks at Blaine, pain in his eyes and says;_

_"No one"_

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><p>Blaine waits for the door to open while the memory is playing through his mind over and over again. Just like the memory, the door opens and there stands Kurt. Perfect as ever.<p>

"Hi" Kurt says nervously, and steps out of the way so Blaine can step inside.

Blaine walks into the rather large apartment that belongs to Kurt and his _boyfriend _and walks straight to Kurt's and Dean's room and sits down on the bed. Kurt follows in a slow pace, almost scared of what's going to happen next.

"I'm here now" Blaine says, looking down at his hands.

"You're here now..." Kurt takes a seat beside Blaine, leaving enough space between them.

"Uhm, we need to talk"

"Yeah, we do" Kurt takes a deep breath and turns his head towards Blaine. "We can't keep doing this you know. I have a boyfriend"

"Yeah, and how much do you love him?" Blaine looks at Kurt with anger in his eyes. Already close to tears

"I love him very much Blaine" Kurt says and looks down at his lap, too afraid to look Blaine in the eyes

"So why do we do this? Why are you cheating on him? Is there other guys than just me?" Blaine's voice is starting to rise

"No there's only you"

"So why-"

"Because I love you okay? I'm trying so hard not to feel anything for you but I do. I do Blaine..." Tears are now rolling down his cheeks, he doesn't even bother to wipe them away. "I just do..." Blaine puts his hand over Kurt's, he can't be angry anymore. He knows how much Kurt is suffering, how hard this is for him. Blaine has to show his support because that's just who Blaine is.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Blaine says. At this point Kurt is crying even harder. "Baby I'm sorry" Blaine repeats over and over again and wraps Kurt in his arms. Whispering smoothing words in his ear while he rocks Kurt slowly.

At one point they're lying on the bed instead, wrapped up in each other, Blaine holding Kurt while he calms down. Kurt's lying on his back and Blaine on his side while he holds him, still whispering words in Kurt's ear. Suddenly Kurt's cries starts in quiet sniffles and then stops completely. They look at each other for awhile until Kurt turns on his side too, face towards Blaine's.

"You know I love you, right?" Kurt whispers holding Blaine's shirt in his hands as too keep him there.

"I know" Blaine whispers back, kissing Kurt's forehead. They lie like that for a while, just holding each other wishing this could be forever. If everything had been like it used to, this would be forever. They would have lied like this every day, all the time. Days like these never happens. Most of the time, their time together is rushed and desperate, but today's different. This is the day they have to make a decision, to keep doing this or leave. Non of them wants to make it though...

Suddenly Kurt's phone starts ringing. Kurt climbs out of Blaine's arms and reaches for his phone. It's rather difficult because Blaine is trying to keep holding him, so really, they're just lying in a pile, Kurt trying to escape and Blaine trying to keep him. Finally Blaine let's go, making them both laugh when Kurt almost falls out of bed, Blaine giving Kurt a pout and Kurt gives him a smile while he answers the phone without looking at the caller id.

"Hello" Kurt says, still looking at Blaine when he lies on the bed looking both sad and happy and givingKurt the most adorable smile he has ever seen.

"Hi babe-" Kurt's body stiffened and he turns away from Blaine. "Work ended early so I'm on my way home. I bought some sushi for you" Dean laughs in the phone, waiting for Kurt to answer.

"Uhm, great, yeah great..."

"Are you busy or something? You seem... distracted"

"No not at all" Kurt quickly rises from the bed, pointing for Blaine to do the same. "I was just uhm.. sketching! Uhm for the new collection" Kurt waves his free hand for Blaine to put on his shoes. "I'm all wrapped up in it, you know how I get. Away from the world" Kurt gives out a fake laugh and opens the door to Blaine. "So how far are you? From the apartment I mean".

"I'm just a few blocks away, so I'll be home in five."

"Oh okay, well see you soon! Bye" Kurt ends the phone call quickly and says "He's here in five you have to go Blaine, now!"

"Kurt, please I just-"

"NOW" Kurt almost screams, his eyes are wide open looking scared and stressed. "Blaine please go" he begs

"Okay" Blaine looks at his feet, and then straight into Kurt's eyes. "Just one thing" and then he kisses Kurt. He puts his hands on both side of Kurt's face, crashing their lips together with hunger, pain, guilt and love. All Kurt can do is to take it, and then, kiss back. They're standing like that for a while. Just moving their lips together in desperation, never wanting to stop. Kurt's lips are soft, they're always soft and he tastes like coffee and just so much Kurt. They can't stop, they forget all about Dean and that Blaine really should go, all they can do is to keep kissing. Kurt puts his arms around Blaine's neck, needing him to be even closer even if that doesn't seem possible at all. Blaine's hands are warm against Kurt's pale skin, it feels like they're burning him, like all of him is on fire. Blaine moves his lips to Kurt's jaw and Kurt just can't take it anymore. He needs more, more of Blaine. He needs them to be one. Suddenly the door opens and in comes Dean.

"Hi! I'm ho- WHAT THE FUCK?!"

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><p><em>Recovery<em> - James Arthur


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry it took so long for me to update! Gosh I'm really really sorry!**

**I just wanted to thank you all for the reviews and feedback I've gotten! It means the world to me!**

**Please take your time to tell me what you think about this chapter, also please tell me what you would like to happen next! I'm really stuck..**

**Love you all!**

**/Erika**

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><p><em>Suddenly it's become harder to breathe<em>

_It may kill me, might be rough_

_But you're taking the chance, _

_Will you know that it's love?_

_I have a feeling this is not gonna stop_

_I gotta get to know you before you get on the plane, _

_I am hearing your voice, I am hearing your name_

_If we two didn't think the same way_

_Or if you didn't look anything more than okay, _

_You weren't just about everything that I have ever wanted_

_I could turn around and let you go but that would be impossible_

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><p>Kurt is never scared. He's just not. The only time he's ever been <em>really <em>scared was when his mother died. He was so scared of how Burt would react, what would happen next and how they would survive without her, only the two of them. The other time was when Burt told him that he had prostate caner. It was like his whole world fell apart, the ground stopped existing and he fell. He couldn't breath, couldn't think, but Blaine was there. Blaine pulled him out of the darkness, Blaine _saved _him. But today Blaine can't and Kurt is all by himself. And he is scared to death...

"What were you thinking? I give you everything you want, I take care of you and what do you give me in return? You sleep with other men!" Dean screams. His normally pale face is now burning red. His eyes are angry, almost threatening. He walks back and forth in front of Kurt. Once in a while he kicks a chair over and all Kurt can do is to sit on the bed and listen.

"And why did you choose _him _of all people? That guy is just... Like how tall is he? He's like a hobbit. Seriously what do you see in him? And how many times did you guys do it? I'm going to kill him, yeah.. That's what I'm going to do, I'm going to kill him"

"Dean, please calm down..."

"You think that I'm joking? Huh? You think I'm stupid? You think that I don't know that this has been going on for months? Maybe even years!" Dean walks over to the bedside-table and picks up one of the photos that's standing there. The photo pictures Kurt and Dean hugging. Dean is kissing Kurt on the cheek while Kurt in looking into the camera. They really do look happy, it's actually a beautiful photo. It's hard to imagine them ever been happy together. "You think that you're better than me?"

"No I-" Kurt whispers but gets interrupted when Dean throws the picture on the floor. The glass shatters all over the floor and you can no longer see Kurt's smiling face.

"Do. You. Think. That. I'm. Stupid Kurt?" He says threateningly, his face is now almost touching Kurt's.

"I-" Kurt swallows and looks at his hands, doing everything to avoid Dean's eyes. "No I don't" Kurt says, trying to sound confident, but he's voice keeps cracking.

"Because I'm not. You're just a failed designer Kurt. You're not good at anything. You're _nothing, _useless." Dean spits on the floor and turns around. Kurt is close to tears, waiting for the moment to be over so he can call Blaine immediately to pic him up.

"You will never see him again. You hear that? _Never_"

"You can' decide whom I'm gonna meet and not" Kurt says quietly. Dean slowly turns around, his eyes burning with anger. Sweat is shining on his forehead and his face is red with anger.

"What? What did you just say?" he walks slowly closer to Kurt, bends over so their faces are in the same level and repeats slowly; "_What did you just say?_"

"You can't decide if I can meet Blaine or not-" And that's when the hit comes. That's when Dean's right fist hits Kurt's jaw with a loud smash and all Kurt can feel is pain and it turns black in front of his eyes. His jaw is pounding with pain and Kurt can already feel it swelling. Kurt protects his face with his both hands, trying to protect it from getting more punches from the man hitting him. After a few more punches hitting his arms, chest and head Dean stops. He takes a steady grip of Kurt's badly tied tie and drags Kurt closer to his own face.

"Well that's where you're all wrong _faggot_" he spits. "You'll listen to me, you will never meet that hobbit again, understood? And if you do, I will fucking _kill him._" Dean releases Kurt, spits on the floor again and leaves the room, Kurt's too beaten up and scared to move. He lies on his back in their bed crying silently. How is he going to fix this mess?

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><p>The shop is completely dark when he arrives. He hasn't been here the whole day, spending time with Blaine and then... <em>Dean. <em>Simply put, he hasn't had the time to be here. Kurt's face is still pounding with pain from all of the punches and it hurts to breath. He had been brave enough to move after about an hour or so after Dean had left the room. Kurt found him in the couch asleep from drinking scotch, almost a third of the bottle. "_I hope he dies from alcohol poisoning"_ Kurt thinks. It had taken longer than usual to arrive to the store. Not taking a taxi or his own car, he didn't want anyone to question his face being all swollen.

Kurt walks into the shop and turns on the lights. Everything looks like it always has, like everything is like it used to. But it's not like it use to. Everything has changed. Kurt never thought for a second that Dean would hit him, never. Kurt has never seen him angry like that. Of course Dean's been angry before, and sure, he gets scary and violent sometimes when he's taken a drink or so, but never like this. He has never scared Kurt, not like this.

Kurt gives out a sigh and a jolt of pain in his chest occurs. He clutches his shirt and tries not to scream in agony. The tears are dangerously close to fall again.

"I won't cry over him. I will _never _cry over him" Kurt says to himself and sits down on a chair, already exhausted from standing.

His desk is filled with articles of clothes and fashion, fabric and half made clothes. But there are also pictures, not of him and Dean this time, but of Blaine and himself. This is the only place where he can keep them, Dean never visits his shop so this is his free place where he can be himself, where he doesn't have to hide. He pics them up and looks at them and now the tears are falling down his cheeks. He just can't hold it anymore.

One of the pictures are from Blaine's graduation. Blaine is wearing his red graduation cap, laughing with joy and his eyes is filled with love when he's looking into Kurt's eyes. The picture is really supposed to be about all of the seniors and the "originals". Artie, Sam and Tina are also wearing their graduation outfits, all of them looking happy and relived that it's all over. Beside them Mike, Rachel, Santana and Brittany are standing, posing for the photo that Burt took. And in the middle Kurt and Blaine are standing. Looking at each other knowing that their life together are just about to start. Their friends in the picture is only a blur because all Kurt can see is himself and Blaine looking at each other. Kurt holds his trembling hand over his mouth, trying to keep the sounds of his crying down.

He puts the photo down and wipes away the tears from his face. The next photo is from when Blaine arrived to Kurt and Rachel's doorstep in New York. This photo is taken a couple of weeks after Blaine's graduation. He is holding a huge trunk in his hands, smiling and waving to the camera that Rachel is holding while Kurt is standing with his back to the camera, ready to attack Blaine with kisses and hugs. Kurt is holding his hands over his mouth, too excited to care about the scream he let slip out when he opened the door and saw his boyfriend standing there.

Kurt let's out a laugh, another jolt of pain going through his body by doing so, and pics up the next photo. This one pictures Blaine and Kurt in their first bed they owned after moving in together in their new apartment. The bed wasn't big at all, it could barely have them both in it at the same time, but they didn't have much money at the moment to buy a larger one, and they really didn't mind at all. They're lying on their backs, Blaine resting his head on Kurt's shoulder while Kurt's taking the picture. Both of them are giving the cameras huge smiles, looking happy and so much in love. Kurt wipes away the tears that are now rolling down his cheeks and laughs, looking at the photo and remembers the moment.

_"Ouch! Blaine your head is really heavy, my arm is falling asleep"_

_"Well take the damn picture then!" Blaine says trying to keep his smile up while he struggles with lying comfortably._

_"It isn't working! Stupid camera" Kurt mutters and turns of the camera and looks down at his dark haired boyfriend lying over his chest._

_"We really should have bought a bigger bed though.." Blaine says and looks up at Kurt. Their eyes meeting and they smile._

_"I really don't mind" Kurt whispers and captures Blaine's lips in his._

_"Mmm, neither do I" Blaine says in between kisses. Which makes Kurt laugh and kiss him even deeper. Blaine is now lying completely on top of Kurt and they're kissing each other more needy now. Kurt makes an attempt to turn them around so that he can be on the top this time._

_"Humpf" They both say at the same time when they end up falling down on the floor instead._

_"This isn't working" Blaine laughs and kisses Kurt lightly on the lips_

_"I don't care as long as I can be with you" Kurt says with honesty, looking deeply into Blaine's eyes and in that moment he can swear that this is the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with._

_Fearlessly and forever._

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><p><em>3 days <em>- Tantrum To Blind


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry for being so slow! I hope this makes it up to you! I wrote this chapter really really fast, so I'm sorry if I've missed some grammar or spelling and stuff.**

**I hope you like this one and reviews are highly appreciated!**

**Love you all**

**/Erika**

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><p><em>Sometimes goodbye is a second chance<em>

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><p>Blaine hadn't heard from Kurt for hours. He's starting to get really worried now because of the lack of texts from Kurt. Blaine had send him about 30 of them and waited for 5 hours for Kurt to answer them, but he hadn't.<p>

"I guess Dean and Kurt are talking" Blaine muttered.

He walks over to the kitchen sink and fills a glass with water, doing everything to pass time. He even calls his mother to just chat, but she ends the call after just a couple of minutes when she realizes that he's not listening.

10 minutes later when Blaine has finished his 11th glass of water he walks into the living room, leaving his phone in the kitchen so that he doesn't have to stare at it anymore. He opens a book and starts reading it but realizes after two minutes that it's upside down.

"Just answer your DAMN PHONE!" He screams and leaves the room to take a shower. When he's standing under the streaming hot water, trying to keep his thoughts and feelings under control, his phone starts ringing.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Blaine screams and turns off the water. He doesn't bother to take a towel, he just runs out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, he's close to fall at least 5 times.

"Hallo?" he almost screams into the phone, trying to control his breathing. "HALLO?!"

"Hi..." and that voice makes him calmer right away. Kurt finally called him, and it feels like a huge weight just lifted from his shoulders and he can finally relax.

"Hi babe-"

"Blaine, we need to talk." and suddenly the worry is back again because there's something terribly wrong with Kurt's voice. He sounds tired, sad and... he sounds dead.

"I- Yeah of course. Wanna meet me at my apartment or do you wanna-?"

"I'm right outside" Blaine lifts his eyebrows at this point. What is Kurt doing outside his apartment, and why did he have call first?

"O-okay, come in" Blaine ends the phone call and walks out in the hallway. Just when he's about to open the door he realizes that he's standing all naked and runs blushing into the bathroom to get a towel. When he's gotten the towel and it's covering his private part, he walks out into the hallway again. He's just about to open the door when it creeks open. And there Kurt is standing. No, it's not Kurt. It's a shell of Kurt, it's a Kurt look-a-like, because this can't be Kurt, this can't be _his _Kurt.

"H-hi..." Kurt whispers and looks down on the floor. His voice is thin and so close to give him away. Give away the fear he feels in this moment. The brave and proud Kurt is now gone, there's nothing left of the Kurt that Blaine has known for so long, left.

Blaine doesn't say anything. He's just looking. Looking at what once was Kurt. A shiver goes through Blaine's body, and not a good one, a shiver of pain, anger, fear and hatred. Kurt is covered in bruises. What once was a beautiful face covered with a beautiful and wide smile, is now gone. The right side of Kurt's face is covered in blue, red and purple and has swelled so much that Kurt's right eye won't open. His lip is cracked on several places, and his nose is swelled to a double size than normal. The one eye that can open looks the way it always has, green and beautiful. But the joy and happiness is all gone. Only tears, fear and pain is left. Blaine swallows down the anger, guilt and pain he feels and wander his eyes lower down on Kurt's face, neck and what you can see of his shoulders from the low V-neck he's wearing. All Blaine can see, really, is blue. And purple. Oh, and swelling. The beautiful face-lines in Kurt's face are all gone. Blaine finally looks up and into Kurt's eyes again and whispers;

"What did he do to you?" And that's when Kurt breaks down.

Kurt has never really broken down in front of Blaine, he has never really broken down at all, ever, in his life. But right now, he can't hold it anymore. He throws himself into Blaine's arms and he ignores the pain that rips trough his body and chest, he just wants to be hold only for a couple of minutes. And like always, Blaine catches him.

"Hey hey baby. Shhh... It'll be fine, I'm here. I'm here..." Blaine says while he's holding Kurt in a tight embrace, yet firm so he won't hurt him more than he already is. Blaine puts his right hand on the back of Kurt's head, to hold him even closer and to let Kurt cry against his shoulder.

"I-I'm so s-sorry B-Blaine!" Kurt cries

"Shhhh, you have nothing to be sorry about baby." Blaine says and holds Kurt even tighter until Kurt cringes and backs away, only so that they can look into each others eyes this time, Blaine still holding Kurt's face in his hands. "Look what he's done to you" Blaine whispers and gently moves Kurt's hair out of his forehead with his right hand.

"I-I... I don't know what happened"

"I know, I know. It's okay now, you'll be okay"

"I won't go back, I'll never go back." Kurt's eyes are determined of what he's saying and now the old Kurt is starting to show. Kurt has confidence in his voice and even though the tears are still falling down his face, anger and hatred is showing. Kurt is finally back. "He will nevertake my pride away from me, _never._" Blaine smiles at this, looking deeply into Kurt's left eye, enjoying Kurt being so brave and strong despite what he's been through.

"Why are you only in a towel though?" Kurt says and gives away a small watery laugh.

"Oh, I was- I was showering. Uhm, and then I- I didn't have time to dress." Blaine blushes and starts laughing. "I'll be right back." He says and take off towards the bedroom.

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><p><em>"Blaine!" Kurt screams impatiently and taps his foot in a rapid pace "BLAINE!"<em>

_"HUH?"_

_"STOP SHOWERING!"_

_"WHAT? I'M IN THE SHOWER, I CAN'T HEAR YOU"_

_"YEAH, YOU THINK?" Blaine suddenly opens the bathroom door and peeks his head out of the door._

_"What do you want? I'm showering!" Water drips from his face and lands on Kurt's newly bought carpet._

_"You're making the carpet wet! Dry yourself first will you?"_

_"Well, if you would just let me finish my shower I wouldn't make the carpet wet. What do you want?"_

_"I need to shower Blaine, work starts in one hour and you've been in there for about 30 minutes!"_

_"Shower then, I don't see the problem?"_

_"Well, you're in there so-"_

_"So?" Blaine says, creaking and eyebrow and a smile appears on his wet face._

_"S-so I won't be able to- uhm, to... to shower" Kurt stutters, eyes fixed on Blaine's lips._

_"No?" Blaine whispers, moving his face closer to Kurt's, almost touching now. "You sure? Do you wanna try?" Their lips are dangerously close by now. And then their gazes meets and they just know, Kurt wont be able to walk away._

_"I defiantly wanna try" Kurt says and captures Blaine's lips with his in a hungry and needy kiss._

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><p>"So, I brought you some coffee, a blanket and <em>Moulin Rough, <em>sounds good huh?" Blaine says when he appears into the living room 15 minutes later. Kurt is sitting on the couch and looking straight into the wall in front of him. "I thought that would be nice, maybe it would help you relax a bit?" Blaine says when he takes place beside Kurt, this time with insecurity.

"Sounds great" Kurt says without emotions in his voice, it's like his voice is dead. Kurt looks at Blaine quickly, his left eye is red rimmed and he gives Blaine a small smile, but then the swelling is stopping him from doing more than that.

"Hey," Blaine says and moves closer to his lover and best friend, "What's wrong? I know it's the wrong time to ask but, is there something else?"

"I won't go back to him Blaine. I refuse. He will never get the chance to do that to me ever again. Do you hear that? Don't ever let me go back to him."

" I promise" Kurt looks away, the tears are starting to fall again and the worry Blaine felt earlier, starts to come creeping back into him. "Hey," Blaine says and gently touches the unharmed part of Kurt's chin, and slowly turns Kurt's face towards his so that he can look him into the eyes. "Is there something else?"

"I need someplace to live, I don't have any place to go and this is the only place where I can-"

"Baby, you can stay here" Blaine says, tears filling his eyes. That Kurt would doubt that he's welcome here made Blaine's heard ache.

"Yeah? You're sure?"

"Of course Kurt, of course" Blaine embraces Kurt and holds him tight against his chest. But then suddenly Kurt gives away a high pitched cry of pain and holds his arms tight around his chest. Blaine flung himself back against the back of the couch and puts his hand over his mouth in shock.

I-I'm sorry, oh god I'm sorry, I just- It hurt a bit, but I'm fine. I'm fine." Blaine finally puts away his hand from his mouth and scoops closer to Kurt. A tear rolls down Kurt's cheek from the pain the hug caused him and Blaine gently wipes it away with his hand.

"Baby, let me see your chest please."

"I- No, I'm fine. There's nothing to see, I'm fine, I-I'm fine." Blaine sighs and look Kurt directly into his eyes.

"Kurt, you're in pain. Please let me make sure that you're not badly wounded." At this Kurt looks defeated and slowly takes off his t-shirt and looks down at his hands that are resting in his lap. Blaine takes a deep breath to control his feelings when he sees Kurt's chest. He has do to all in his power to keep his anger and hatred against Dean in control so that he won't go back to Kurt's old place and beat the crap out of him.

"I'm going to _kill _him"

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><p><em>Second Chance - <em>Shinedown


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